From Believers to Doubters

BRI 3 CHE 0

What do you do when things are going poorly? First, you pray that you’ve got Chelsea on the schedule twice in one week. Second, you make like Gordon Bombay and light your former coaching blunders on fire.

Fabian Hurzeler’s managerial gimmick (he literally burned the Gulls’ tactical plan from the 7-0 defeat to Forest) has quickly paid dividends, delivering two wins over the Blues in as many matches. With that, the managerial crisis at Brighton is on hold, and the club retains its Michael Scott Paper Company-like ability to regenerate top-notch managers when one is lured away.

Yankuba Minteh scored a brace for the Gulls, as the club’s patience with young, new signings appears poised to pay off once more.

Chelsea’s slide continues, with “Cold” Palmer becoming a nickname more evocative of stale chippy chips than a cool operator in front of goal. Enzo Maresca spent the first few months of the season publicly insisting that his team was not actually good and that it couldn’t possibly challenge for titles. We call that insistence the “inverse Klopp,” so brazen in its demand that Chelsea and its supporters go from believers to doubters.

Some believe the dip in form is evidence that Maresca was correct, but what if his players and their opponents simply started to believe what he was saying?  

LEI 0 ARS 2

With Kai Havertz out for the season, an Arsenal squad already short on strikers will need to scrap for goals wherever they can find them. This week, they found two from midfielder-turned-center-forward Mikel Merino, who looked every bit the part in scoring both goals after the 80th minute. Merino: not only a versatile wool, but a versatile footballer.

The forward shortage no doubt presents another challenge to Arsenal in its title chase, but great teams find a way, and that’s what the Gunners did. Whatever the outcome this season, supporters will find great encouragement in the emergence of Myles Lewis-Skelly and Ethan Nwaneri, who look like the best young British duo since Wham!

The only thing more valuable in English football than a homegrown star? Two of them.

Leicester can take heart from 80 minutes of solid football against a top side, as well as Wolves’ defeat and Ipswich Town’s draw. But after a brief reprieve against league punching bag Tottenham last month, the club is back to its losing ways, dropping three straight in February. 

AVL 1 IPS 1

A 1-1 defeat for the Villans and a 1-1 triumph for Ipswich, particularly after the Tractor Boys went down to 10 men following a second yellow card for Axel Tuanzebe in the 40th minute.

Despite the disadvantage, Ipswich starlets Omari Hutchinson and Liam Delap combined for a stunning goal shortly after halftime. Delap is proving to be a sensational force of strength, speed, skill, and Sheeran. Whatever the fate of Ipswich Town, his days of Championship football are likely over.

Villa’s equalizer came on an Ollie Watkins rebound from a Marcus Rashford free kick that struck the crossbar. Though the outcome is a disappointment, Rashford was a bright spot on the left flank. Hey, maybe the flailing manager at United was wrong about him?

FUL 2 NOT 1

Big tree fall hard!

Solidly in the top four, Forest now face the challenges that come with that status. But even a side as prepared as humanly possible couldn’t have been ready for Adama Traore to unleash an inch-perfect cross with his weak foot. 

We didn’t think he was even allowed to cut in from the wing, let alone deliver an assist with his left peg. Emile Smith-Rowe dutifully smashed it home with his head to give the Cottagers the early advantage.

The Chris Wood masterclass on playing target forward continued, as he used his strength and increasingly remarkable composure to find the equalizer midway through the half. But that would be one of just two shots on goal total for Forest, and it was a Calvin Bassey header in the 62nd minute that would prove decisive.

It was a well-earned victory for Fulham, who move into eighth place in a tight battle for European places.

MCI 4 NEW 0

It was disconcerting to see Pep Guardiola look so lost in the season’s early months. But now that City have regained their footing, it’s vastly more disconcerting to see the cerebral twinkle return to his eye.

After a few seasons of relatively light net-spend, City’s break-in-case-of-emergency January window is beginning to yield results, as Marmoush, Gonzalez, and even Khusanov were all influential in this one. Marmoush’s hat trick begs questions about whether delaying the replacement for Julian Alvarez was a mistake, but his penchant for hand gestures suggests that he has fit right in nonetheless.

Cause for concern? Erling Haaland went down with what appeared to be a non-contact knee injury in the game’s late stages. Pep eased worries about his condition after the match, but if things go sideways, that’ll be eerily reminiscent of Coach Gary Gaines telling his team that Boobie Miles was fine, that there was no tear, and that he’d be back in a week.

For Newcastle, it’s a significant blow to top-4 hopes. But who needs Champions League money when you can sell Alexander Isak for a number with eight zeroes after it?

SOU 1 BOU 3

If Arsenal wants any advice on how to play without a striker, they could always ask Bournemouth. Goals came from all over for the Cherries, with Dango Ouattara, Ryan Christie, and Marcus Tavernier (with an incredible finish) finding the back of the net.

The win sees Bournemouth rise to 5th in the table. Let us repeat. It’s mid-February, and Bournemouth are 5th.

One of the most remarkable rises in memory.

For Southampton, the drop looks all but assured, but there’s still plenty to play for. The Saints need one more victory to ensure they won’t finish with the worst points total in Premier League history.

One more! For the love of Lallana, we can do it, Saints!

WHU 0 BRE 1

West Ham are still waiting for that Graham Potter bounce, but if it doesn’t come, that Moyes fellow at Everton seems pretty solid. Maybe they should take a look at him?

Despite Alphonse Areola standing on his head, Brentford found the opener through Kevin Schade after one of the pinball sequences of the season. While the 1-0 margin looks narrow, Yoanne Wissa put the ball in the back of the net about 17 times by our count.

Still, if not for a “Wondo” by Mohammed Kudus in front of a gaping net, this one could’ve ended differently. West Ham are now 16th with a 10-point margin to the drop, but with the way the Hammers have spent, it’s a calamitous campaign.

CRY 1 EVE 2

There would be no hangover from the 2-2 win heard ‘round the world. Everton under David Moyes look a lot like, well, Everton under David Moyes. An aura of solidity, belonging, even defiance has returned to the club.

Even more improbably, Beto has become a clinical finisher.

Neto nabbed the opener, his fourth goal in the last four matches. The striker’s fortunes look wholly reversed under Moyes, and if he wanted evidence of just how much things can change under a new manager, he only had to look across the pitch on Saturday.

Jean-Philippe Mateta equalized for Palace, scoring his 24th goal in 38 games under Glasner. Before Glasner arrived at the club, he had scored just 11 in 80 games.

It was newcomer Charly Alcaraz who scored the late winner for Everton, slotting home a rebound from a blocked Ashley Young effort. Everton now have more wins this season in Moyes' short tenure than they did under Sean Dyche. A club that — due to poor form or points deductions or both — was growing quite comfortable near the relegation zone has charged into the top half of the bottom half.

That’ll look nice in the new trophy cabinet at Bramley Moore.

LIV 2 WOL 1

A 2-1 victory over Wolves will do nothing to quiet murmurs of concern that the Reds have hit a mid-season dip in form. A first-half goal from Luis Diaz and a Mohammed Salah penalty briefly guided hands away from the panic button before Liverpool failed to register a single shot in the second half. Not a single shot on target, mind you. A single shot.

Matheus Cunha scored a masterful curler to cut the deficit in the 67th minute; retaining Cunha may have been a more impactful transfer development than any actual transfer in January. Liverpool can take solace in the fact he’s not an Arsenal player, while Wolves will take confidence in both their second-half showing at Anfield and the fact that Cunha still wears that dreadful shade of orange.

TOT 1 MUN 0

Returns from James Maddison, Gugielmo Vicario, Destiny Udogie, Wilson Odobert, and Brennan Johnson meant that the Spurs bench resembled one of Premier League quality for the first time in months. Maddison coolly slammed the ball home — and Roy Keane’s words down his throat with it — to open the scoring in the 13th minute. 

In contrast, United’s bench looked familiar to Tottenham supporters. Put differently, it looked like Victor Lindelöf was conducting a focus group with area teens to understand how to use Snapchat. Alejandro Garnacho put a golden chance well over the bar in an otherwise tepid affair.

Under the circumstances, a Tottenham in turmoil will happily take the points. Meanwhile, Ruben Amorim was left to lament that his “job is so hard,” a sentiment which will surely be as motivating to his squad as Maresca’s were to Chelsea. Amorim’s case, though, is more one of wanting the club to go from doubters to….even bigger doubters.

🔴⚪ You can take Vincent Kompany out of Burnley, but you can’t take the Burnley out of Vincent Kompany. Kompany’s Bayern did their best Clarets impression, failing to notch a single shot on goal in a 1-1 draw against Leverkusen. But the onus was on Leverkusen to secure three points, and they failed to do so, with a late Florian Wirtz miss looking particularly rueful.

A rare misstep from Xabi Alonso? Red-hot Patrick Schick didn’t enter the match until the 92nd minute.

⚫⚪ Freiburg continued its rapid table ascent, climbing to 6th after a 1-0 victory over St. Pauli. The club was in the bottom half mere weeks ago.

⚫🟡 Speaking of the bottom half, that’s where Dortmund remains. Its struggles persist with a 2-0 defeat to bottom-dwellers Bochum after a Georgios Masouras brace.

The battle for Champions League places is heating up, with five teams within four points of the fourth spot. In addition to Freiburg, Gladbach and Mainz both closed the gap with victories this week as Leipzig drew on Friday against Augsburg.

⚪🔵 The question of the week in La Liga: just how large is the chasm between saying “F*ck you” and “F*ck off”? If you ask Carlo Ancelotti, the gap is about as vast as the one between managing Real Madrid and Everton.

Either way, it was enough to see Jude Bellingham sent off in the 39th minute. Bellingham must’ve studied at the Ricky Bobby School of Dealing with Authority Figures. Listen, Mr. Official, so long as you preface it with some mention of “respect,” you can say whatever you want afterward.

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.

Madrid couldn’t maintain the advantage gained by a Kylian Mbappe opener, surrendering a penalty in the 58th minute.

🔴🔵 Cross-town rival Atletico similarly saw their Saturday hampered by an early red card, this one to Pablo Barrios in just the 7th minute. Liverpool legend Iago Aspas netted a penalty to give Celta Vigo the lead in the 68th minute, but super-sub Alexander Sorloth buried an equalizer after a remarkable touch in the 81st to ensure no further ground was ceded to Real Madrid in the title race.

🔵🔴 With both title challengers dropping points, Barcelona could advance to the top of the table with a win, and that’s precisely what they did. However, it wasn’t easy, with only a Robert Lewandowski penalty providing the difference. Rayo were denied two decent shouts for penalties and had a goal improperly disallowed, which we’re sure Madrid will accept with the utmost professionalism and calmness.

Barcelona trailed top-of-the-table Madrid by seven points just four matchdays ago.

🟢⚪ Antony scored his third goal in four matches for Betis, winning his third Man of the Match in the process. It’s almost like United might be the problem? Always refreshing to see a player find a new lease on life, though admittedly, there’s a long list of players we would’ve preferred to see ahead of Antony in line. A second-half brace from Marc Roca sealed the victory.

🔴⚪ Sevilla dismantled bottom-of-the-table Valladolid 4-0 behind a brace from Juanlu Sanchez.

🔵⚪ Lazio and Napoli battled to a hard-fought 2-2 draw, restricting Napoli’s lead atop the table. Gustav Isaksen opened the scoring with perhaps the goal of the weekend.

🔴⚫ Newcomer Santiago Gimenez found the winner for Milan in the 75th minute, his second goal in as many league games.

🔵⚪ Como notched a 2-0 upset over Fiorentina behind goals from Assane Diao and Nico Paz. Diao now has four goals in his first seven games for Como and looks like one of the best young signings of the window. Como fans will greet every contribution from Paz with restrained joy, as Real Madrid holds affordable buyback clauses on the player in each of the next three summers.

But does he know the difference between “F*ck you” and “F*ck off"?

⚫⚪ Despite dominating much of the first half, Inter Milan couldn’t capitalize on Napoli’s draw earlier in the weekend, dropping a 1-0 defeat to Juventus in the 267th Derby d’Italia. Randal Kolo Muani’s red-hot start for Juventus continued, as he delivered a remarkable assist on Francisco Conceicao’s winner. The momentous win sees Juventus climb into fourth, while Inter remain two points behind Napoli.

🔴⚪ Add Mika Biereth to the list of most impactful January signings. The Monaco striker notched a hat trick in a 7-1 victory over Nantes, taking his tally to 7 goals in his first five games. Biereth is a graduate of the Arsenal academy. Good thing the Gunners are replete with attacking talent.

George Illenikhena added a brace for Monaco.

🔵⚪ Marseille newcomer Amine Gouiri scored a brace of his own in a 5-1 drubbing of Saint-Etienne.

🔵🔴 PSG remained unbeaten in the league with a 52nd-minute Fabian Ruiz winner against Toulouse.

🔴🔵 Lyon won 4-0 with goals from four different scorers for the second match in a row to keep its European hopes alive. It was also Corentin Tolisso’s fourth straight match with a goal, as his career seems to have reignited in his return to Les Gones.

🧱 Remember what we said about Bayern’s Burnley impression? Burnley recorded its 13th straight clean sheet in a 0-0 draw against Preston. Remarkably, in that 13-match streak, the club have managed just seven wins. Still, J.J. Watt has probably at least started to stretch as the chances of him needing to make good on his promise to James Trafford rise from 0% to ever-so-slightly above 0%.

🔵🟡 Leeds mounted a late comeback to beat Sunderland 2-1 thanks to an unlikely Pascal Struijk brace. They now sit atop the table, with a seven-point cushion for automatic promotion.

Unbottle-able? Hold my Red Bull.

💥 Remember Hulk? Not Red Hulk. Not Mark Ruffalo. Brazilian Hulk. All you need to know is that he still scores absolute bangers.

🇧🇷 Neymar drew a penalty on a marauding run for Santos before calmly dispatching it for his first goal in his return to the club. Rumors of his demise have been exaggerated?

🇳🇱 A 4-0 win over Heracles saw Ajax claim the top of the Eredivisie table, leapfrogging PSV after the Eindhoven club drew 2-2 with Utrecht.

Champions League

All games on Paramount Plus

The second leg of the playoff unfolds today and Wednesday, with multiple ties still very much up for grabs. Of course, it gets no bigger than…

Real Madrid vs. Man City (3-2 Agg - 3:00 PM ET, Weds)

Pep enters the second leg claiming his side has a 1% chance to win. Seriously, what is going on with the managerial pessimism? Looks like the Maresca apple fell from the Guardiola tree in every way.

Pep’s bar-lowering aside, City heads to the Bernabeu on the heels of one of its best performances of the season, facing a Madrid side in a patch of slightly uninspiring form (by their standards). It would be insulting to Lloyd Christmas to use the “so you’re telling me there’s a chance” GIF here.

Milan vs. Feyenoord (0-1 Agg - 12:45 PM ET, Tues)

Milan return to the San Siro with work to do. Santiago Gimenez will look to extend his promising run of form and knock his former club out of the competition, while his CONCACAF rival-turned-ally Christian Pulisic will hope his prolific performances in Europe continue.

Bayern Munich vs. Celtic (2-1 Agg - 3:00 PM ET, Tues)

Bayern host Celtic at the Allianz with aspirations of protecting a one-goal lead. With the way the Bavarian side shut things down against Leverkusen, there’s little reason to believe this one will go wayward.

But, oh how we salivate at the thought of the Brodge pulling a historic European upset. “Brendan Rodgers, European conqueror. Has a nice ring to it, eh?” -Brodge, probably.

The rest:

Atalanta vs. Club Brugge (1-2 Agg - 3:00 PM ET Tues)

Benfica vs. Monaco (1-0 Agg - 3:00 PM ET Tues)

Dortmund vs. Sporting (3-0 Agg - 12:45 PM ET Weds)

PSV vs. Juventus (1-2 Agg - 3:00 PM ET Weds)

PSG vs. Brest (3-0 Agg - 3:00 PM ET Weds)

Europa League

All games Thursday on Paramount Plus

Not shockingly, fewer Europa League ties boast the suspense or the appeal of their superior counterpart. Still, we’re intrigued by…

AS Roma vs. FC Porto (1-1 Agg - 12:45 PM ET)

After a shaky start to the campaign, Claudio Ranieri-led Roma have found steadier form in recent months. They’ll meet a Porto side sitting 3rd in the Portuguese Primeira Liga table. Porto striker Samu Omorodion, started the season in hot form but has since quieted; he hasn’t scored since Christmastime.

The rest:

Galatasaray vs. AZ Alkmaar (1-4 Agg - 12:45 PM ET)

Bodo/Glimt vs. FC Twente (1-2 Agg - 12:45 PM ET)

FCSB vs. PAOK (The battle of the four-letter abbreviations, 2-1 Agg - 12:45 PM ET)

Anderlecht vs. Fenerbahce (0-3 Agg, 3:00 PM ET)

Real Sociedad vs. Midtjylland (2-1 Agg, 3:00 PM ET)

Viktoria Plzen vs. Ferencvaros (0-1 Agg, 3:00 PM ET)

The Best of the Rest

Aston Villa vs. Liverpool (Weds 2:30 PM ET).

A derby of two sides looking to bounce back from unconvincing results at the weekend. Liverpool will look to go 10 points clear at the top of the table, while Villa seeks to reinsert itself in the European conversation. Could Rashford play spoiler for his old rival?

Luton Town vs. Plymouth (Weds 2:45 PM ET).

Who doesn’t love a relegation six-pointer?! The two sides are last and next-to-last in the Championship table, as Luton could tumble multiple leagues in two years. If you’re a glutton for punishment, this could be some incredibly unwatchable football. Think we’ll opt for Villa-Liverpool instead, keeping our house strictly Luton-free, but just thought we’d offer.

MLS finally discovered the concept of a cash transfer, which they call a “cash-for-trade.” Are we buying players or selling used cars? Still, this momentous invention led to the record $12 million transfer of Brazilian attacking midfielder Evander from Portland Timbers to FC Cincinnati. Portland will replace Evander with David Da Costa from Lens.

Benjamin Rollheiser returned to South America, joining Brazilian side Santos from Benfica.

Following him in the door is Deivid Washington, who joins on loan from Chelsea. Washington will watch in horror as Chelsea buy 4-5 new young strikers ahead of him while he’s away.

Turkish winger Cengiz Under is rumored to join LAFC from Fenerbahce, with the move nearing completion.

Christian Eriksen is set to leave Manchester United as a free agent in the summer. We can’t imagine why he would want to leave that situation, nor can we imagine why United would let him go.

After locking down Alphonso Davies’ and Jamal Musiala’s futures, Bayern are growing increasingly confident of sealing a new contract for Joshua Kimmich, who could become club captain.