Give Up? Over His Dead Body

BRI 2 BOU 1

Brighton saw another South Coast club beginning with a “B” lighting the league on fire, and they took that personally.

A 12th-minute penalty from João Pedro put the Gulls in front after Kepa brought the Brazilian striker down in the box. Justin Kluivert equalized in the 61st minute with a sublime curling strike.

Georginio Rutter put super-sub Danny Welbeck through on goal in the 75th minute, and the crafty Premier League veteran slid an inch-perfect finish under Kepa and into the far corner to score the winner.

Looks like Brighton have done it again: new signing Diego Gomez impressed in the midfield on his full debut. Another amazing South American midfield signing for Brighton?

CRY 4 AVL 1

Last season, Crystal Palace beat Villa 5-0 at Selhurst Park, so we can’t say we weren’t warned. But still, who saw this one coming?

Glasner’s Palace are rediscovering their aura, winning their second straight, this one in convincing fashion. Since November 9th, the club has amassed the third most points in the Premier League.

Ismaila Sarr, one of the league’s most underrated signings, scored a brace on his birthday. Pause for a second while we tuck our shirts in: Jean-Philippe Mateta became Palace’s second-leading Premier League goalscorer of all time, passing Christian Benteke despite making 42 fewer appearances. Crazy given Mateta’s slow start at the club.

One more note on JPM. There are only three players who have scored more Premier League goals since Glasner’s appointment: Haaland, Isak, and Salah. Decent company.

Eddie Nketiah notched his first Palace goal in stoppage time. Despite the various goalscoring exploits, Adam Wharton was the Man of the Match, returning from injury to boss the midfield.

A silver lining for Villa on a night short of positives: Morgan Rogers returned to the scoresheet in the league for the first time in 2025.

WOL 1 FUL 2

It took just one minute for Ryan Sessegnon to find the scoresheet for Fulham on Tuesday night, netting for his boyhood club for the first time since December 2018. It’s been a long road for the former wonderkid, and after some wasted years at Spurs, it’s a delight to see him making an impact at Fulham.

Joao Gomes thrashed home the equalizer from a Bellegarde cross in the 18th minute, and it would remain 1-1 until halftime.

Rodrigo Muniz put the visitors ahead for good with a deft, chipped finish in the 47th minute. For Fulham, it’s a welcome recovery after a poor showing against Palace over the weekend.

Wolves close February on a gloomy note, but it was an encouraging month, with two wins and two losses, one of which came in a spirited effort at Anfield.

CHE 4 SOU 0

The perfect prescription for curing a rough patch of form? A home tie against Southampton.

Chelsea supporters chose the occasion to protest Clearlake ownership, expressing frustration with the club’s languid form. While recent performances have failed to impress, a 4-0 beatdown over the Saints pushed the Blues back into fourth place.

Hardly a disaster for a young side, albeit an expensive one.

Four different players found the scoresheet in a match that was over by halftime. Christopher Nkunku opened the scoring in the 24th minute, before assisting Pedro Neto twelve minutes later as the Portuguese winger doubled the advantage. Neto paid it forward in the 44th minute, delivering a cross for Levi Colwill to head home. Human victory cigar Marc Cucurella capped a great performance with a venomous finish.

Despite the festival of goals, Cole Palmer again failed to register a goal or an assist. Harsh for that to be a topic of conversation in a 4-0 win, but heavy lies the chippy chip crown.

BRE 1 EVE 1

Yoanne Wissa went airborne in first-half stoppage time, full-sending a header into a wide-open net to give Brentford the advantage at the break. It’s the 13th goal of the campaign for Wissa, who has developed an unrelenting nose for goal to form one of the league’s most lethal strike partnerships with Bryan Mbeumo.

With their undefeated record under David Moyes on the line, Everton once again responded. This time it was 6’6 Jake O’Brien bending low to head home the equalizer in the 77th minute for his first goal in blue.

In the short existence of our newsletter, we have not yet written an edition in which Beto didn’t score. There’s a first time for everything, as Beto looked much more like the Beto we once knew in wasting a golden first half chance.

MUN 3 IPS 2

If we told you that United suffered…

• A calamitous defender-goalkeeper exchange leading to an Ipswich goal

• A first-half red card

• An Onana disasterclass on a cross-turned-shot

…you’d rightfully assume this United side had once again tasted defeat.

Not so fast, my friends.

Patrick Dorgu’s first-half nightmare twice landed United in trouble. The new signing accidentally put Jaden Philogene in on an open goal after failing to realize Onana had come out to claim the ball, effectively gifting Ipswich a 1-0 advantage in the match’s fourth minute.

An unstoppable Sam Morsy own-goal put United back on terms, before Matthijs de Ligt slammed home from a scramble in the box to put the home side ahead. Crisis averted? Not if Patrick Dorgu had anything to say about it.

Before the half was through, he lunged into Omari Hutchinson, drawing a straight red card. Patrick Dorgu? More like Patrick Dor-

Moments later, Philogene delivered what appeared to be a cross which skipped through the box and past an immobile Onana at the far post. Call that an O-no-no.

Still, 10-man United rallied once again, reclaiming the lead on a Harry Maguire header from a Bruno Fernandes free kick. An absolute bazooka in forehead form, that man.

It’s three significant points won for a United side in desperate need of them and a second straight demonstration of resilience. Hopefully, nobody tried to swap shirts after the game; Sir Jim Ratcliffe wants his players to reuse those all season long.

NOT 0 ARS 0

In the buildup to the match, Mikel Arteta defiantly declared that Arsenal would give up on the Premier League title chase “over [his] dead body.”

If that’s the case, then we must have a Weekend at Bernie’s situation developing, because the Gunners went out with a whimper Wednesday night, managing just one shot on goal as Liverpool extended its lead atop the table to—let’s be honest—an insurmountable 13 points.

It’s not a result to be ashamed of, drawing and keeping a clean sheet at third-place Forest. But on the back of the loss to West Ham and on the heels of Arteta’s defiant assertion, it stings all the more. What can you expect when your only viable attacking substitution is Raheem Sterling?

Fortunately, Arteta is no Bernie Lomax, and he’ll no doubt breathe life into his side for another attempted ascent of the Premier League mountain next year.

But will the stars ever truly align over the Emirates?

MCI 1 TOT 0

Erling Haaland returned to the lineup and literally walked onto the scoresheet from a Jeremy Doku assist in the 12th minute. The goal was Haaland’s 20th of the season, making him just the second player to hit that total in each of his first three Premier League campaigns. Ruud van Nistelrooy was the other; we look forward to watching Haaland’s managerial tenure at Leicester in a few decades.

Perhaps in a different year, the early goal would’ve sent City galloping towards a multi-score win, but Spurs layered on chances throughout the second half, coming closest with a Pape Matar Sarr header that cleared the crossbar late.

Perhaps with an eye toward more important Europa League fixtures on the horizon, Ange sat Son, Kulusevski, Sarr, and Djed Spence in the first half. After putting the faint relegation fears behind them, the club formerly known as Tottenham has little left to play for in the league.

City climbed back into fourth with the win, just one point shy of Forest and one point ahead of Chelsea.

LIV 2 NEW 0

Slot’s Tots would have to win this one with their Dutch football savant watching from the stands, as Liverpool’s manager began serving a two-match ban for his overzealous handshake post-Merseyside Derby.

No matter for the Reds.

Red-hot Hungarian Dominik Szoboszlai continued the best patch of form in his Liverpool career, firing home in the 11th minute. Alexis Mac Allister doubled the advantage in the 63rd, delivering a clinical first-time finish after Mohamed Salah danced through the Newcastle defense to set him up. It’s another goal contribution for Salah, and though he didn’t find the scoresheet himself, his next-level form shone brightly throughout the second half.

The Mac Allister goal sent Anfield into chants of “We’re gonna win the league.” For the first time, it seems like the players are allowing themselves to believe, brimming with confidence that they’re the league's crown jewel. The win and Arsenal draw see them go 13 points clear at the top with 11 to play.

Alexander Isak, reportedly nursing a groin injury, did not play in this one. Perhaps Newcastle just didn’t want him catching feels against his future club. Without him, Newcastle managed zero shots on target. Despite Anthony Gordon’s metamorphosis into prime White Goodman…

…Newcastle looked much more like early Average Joes than Globo Gym.

WHU 2 LEI 0

30th-birthday-boy Tomáš Souček received a present, as Leicester’s Mads Hermansen saved a shot with his face, deflecting the ball right to the waiting Souček for the opener. A Jannik Vestergaard own-goal from a Jarrod Bowen effort doubled the Hammers’ advantage, securing their second consecutive win and spurring them to 15th in the standings.

There’s little else to say about what was a dark affair. Leicester never posed a threat and seem resigned to their fate after recording their 11th loss in their last 12 league matches. Ruud van Nistelrooy’s side are definitely out of answers, but it’s unclear if they ever had any to begin with, away day at Tottenham aside.

🇪🇸 Copa Del Rey

Barcelona 4 Atletico Madrid 4

“This game is drunk” is an overused punchline, but this first leg was clearly operating under the influence of numerous Four Lokos—the original ones that got banned.

Atleti were beginning an eight-match stretch in which they’ll face Barcelona or Real Madrid five times. If they’re daunted, they didn’t show it early.

Julian Alvarez opened the scoring in the first minute, delivering a flexible, outside-of-the-boot finish at the back post. He’s now scored 20 times in a fantastic debut campaign in Madrid. Just five minutes later, he assisted Antoine Griezman who scored against his former club to continue his own imperious form.

But Barcelona quickly flipped the tie on its head. Goals from Pedri (19’), Pau Cubarsi (21’), and Inigo Martinez (41’) gave them the lead heading into halftime. Just moments after coming on, Lamine Yamal put an assist on a platter for Robert Lewandowski, which seemed like it would seal the first leg for the home side.

Not so fast.

Marco Llorente struck in the 84th minute to reduce the arrears before stoppage-time merchant Alexander Sørloth again found a late goal for Atleti, leveling the tie on a feed from Samuel Lino. The increasingly confident Sørloth said he woke up knowing he would score.

F*ck it, Sørloth Stayin’ Alive goal montage:

The teams will meet again in this competition on April 2nd. But absence won’t make the heart grow fonder, as a massive La Liga clash awaits on March 16th.

🇮🇹 Coppa Italia

Inter Milan 2 Lazio 0

To open the scoring for Inter in the 39th minute, Marko Arnautovic uncorked a strike so sexy it could’ve only been scored by a Stoke City alum.

A Hakan Calhanoglu penalty sealed the tie in the 77th minute, setting up a Coppa Italia Derby Della Madonnina against AC Milan. Who doesn’t love a cup derby?

JUV 1 EMP 1

Despite a remarkable equalizer from Khephren Thuram in the 66th minute, canceling out a Youssef Maleh opener, Juventus bowed out of the competition on penalties.

Juventus are now 4th in the league and out of both the Champions League and Coppa Italia, but Juventus director Cristiano Giuntoli insisted Thiago Motta’s job is NOT in danger.

To that, we say…

🇩🇪 DFB Pokal

Arminia Bielefeld 2 Werder Bremen 1

Third-division Arminia Bielefeld are onto the German Cup semi-finals after dispatching their third Bundesliga side in a row. Nothing we say will do justice to the scenes at full-time. Enjoy.

Elsewhere, Leipzig advanced 1-0 over Wolfsburg with a penalty from Benjamin Šeško.

🇫🇷 Coupe de France

Just as we all predicted, fourth-division Cannes and second-tier Dunkerque went through to the semifinal of the Coupe de France. Unfortunately for Big Meeks Micah Richards, Dunkerque won by exposing Brest.

PSG and Reims will join the lower-league sides in the semifinals.

🇺🇸 CONCACAF Champions Cup

Miami 3 Kansas City 1 (4-1 Agg)

It didn’t take long for Lionel Messi to unleash a worldie, slamming home on the half-volley in the 19th minute to extend the Miami advantage.

Luis Suarez added a third for Miami in first-half stoppage time; he may not be able to move anymore, but the man can still score in bunches.

The Miami elders received a rest midway through the second half. Put those fellas in a hyperbaric chamber with Bryan Johnson, we have a long season ahead.

Cincinnati 1 FC Motagua 1 (5-2 Agg)

Another game, another goal for Kevin Denkey. 

The record-signing striker has now scored in all three of his FC Cincinnati appearances. $16 million appears well spent on Denkey, who should provide a handsome return, both in goals and in the fee for his inevitable European return trip.

⚪🔵 Boca Juniors crashed out of the Copa Libertadores in the qualifying round, losing to Alianza Lima in penalties at La Bombanera. A low moment for the legendary Argentine club.

🇳🇱 After losing to Ajax at the weekend, Go Ahead Eagles rebounded to knock PSV out of the Dutch Cup in the semifinals with a 2-1 scoreline.

🇯🇵 Japan handed the US Women their first loss in a year, winning the She Believes Cup Final 2-1. It’s Emma Hayes’ first defeat in charge.

🇲🇽 Toluca beat Querétaro 5-0 to climb to 3rd place in the Liga MX standings, with league-leader Paulinho adding a goal to take his tally to 19 on the year, five clear of the next-closest player.

The Premier League takes a break this weekend as FA Cup action returns. Here are the highlights. All ties on ESPN+.

Newcastle vs. Brighton (8:45 AM SUN)

Winners of four straight, the Gulls visit St. James’ Park buzzing with confidence, while Newcastle lick their wounds from a decisive 2-0 defeat at Anfield. Can White Goodman get back on track in this one to prolong the Magpies’ hopes for a domestic double?

Manchester United vs. Fulham (11:30 AM SAT)

The FA Cup has a penchant for awarding struggling United managers a reprieve. For Amorim to do his best Ten Hag impression, though, he must conquer countryman Marco Silva’s Fulham side. United scored a 1-0 victory at Craven Cottage in late January.

Nottingham Forest vs. Ipswich (2:30 PM MON)

Before the season began, it wouldn’t have been crazy to declare this a matchup of relegation-fodder clubs. Instead, it features a Forest side still sitting third, hoping to regain momentum after a loss to Newcastle and a draw with Arsenal. Sheeran’s side may find solace only in a deep FA Cup run this season, as despite no shortage of effort, the drop is growing in inevitability.

Stuttgart vs. Bayern Munich (2:30 PM FRI - ESPN+)

Bayern meets yet another Top 4 contender, this time a Stuttgart club needing three points to keep pace after a disappointing draw against Hoffenheim. Will Harry Kane and Co. take one step closer to putting a hand on the trophy?

RB Leipzig vs. Mainz (9:30 AM SAT - ESPN+)

The sixth and fifth-place sides in the Bundesliga meet with form heading in opposite directions. Mainz are winners of two straight, while Leipzig have drawn in consecutive matches. Are Mainz ready to loudly declare their Champions League intentions?

Real Betis vs. Real Madrid (12:30 PM ET SAT - ESPN+)

Bad news for Real Madrid: Antony’s red card was rescinded, meaning he will be available to play in this one. Amazingly, that’s only kind of a joke.

Atletico Madrid vs. Athletic Bilbao (3:00 PM ET SAT - ESPN+)

The Athletic (or Atletico?) derby pits third and fourth place against each other on Saturday afternoon. For all the deserved hype about the three-horse title race, Athletic is producing a strong campaign in fourth and would pull within two points of Atleti with a win.

Napoli vs. Inter Milan (12:00 PM ET SAT - Paramount+)

The single-biggest match in world football this weekend. Second meets first in a clash that will have massive implications for deciding the Scudetto. Napoli enters on more tenuous form after falling at Como last weekend, while Inter Milan continues to scrape victories in every competition. A draw could open the door for Atalanta to enter the chat.

AC Milan vs. Lazio (2:45 PM ET SUN - Paramount+)

Two sides needing an improvement in results come together on Sunday afternoon. Fifth-place Lazio are winless in their last two league matches and fell 2-0 to Inter in the Coppa Italia quarterfinal midweek. Seventh-place Milan enter on short rest after losing to Bologna on Thursday night.

PSG vs. Lille (3:05 PM ET SAT)

PSG have won nine straight matches in all competitions and are cruising to the Ligue 1 title. Still, they’ll face another speed bump on Saturday in fourth-place Lille. Lille will look to continue its push for Champions League football next season before continuing their current campaign against Dortmund midweek.

🐐 Messi and Inter Miami visit Houston on Sunday at 7:00 PM.

🇳🇱 With their title hopes fading fast, PSV plays Go Ahead Eagles again on Saturday at 12:45 PM ET on ESPN+.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 The top two teams in England’s League One meet on Saturday at 7:30 AM ET on Paramount+ as Wycombe visit league-leaders Birmingham. With a win, Birmingham can go twelve points clear with a game in hand.

🇲🇽 Second-place Club America hosts third-place Toluca on Saturday night at 8:05 PM ET.

Not a transfer per se, but Claudio Echeverri has finally joined up with Manchester City more than a year after signing for the club. Echeverri spent the last year back on loan at River Plate. He’s not likely to play until the Club World Cup.

Fabrizio Romano insists Palmeiras are set to complete the €25 million purchase of Vitor Roque from Barcelona amid rumors that La Liga blocked the sale.

Bayern Munich have withdrawn their contract extension offer to Joshua Kimmich. The sides were expected to reach an agreement but appear to have hit a snag.

Rumblings are growing around Liverpool’s summer pursuit of Alexander Isak and Joao Pedro, though links remain tenuous at best.

Speaking of tenuous links, Manchester United are reportedly the favorite to land the services of Victor Osimhen. Other sources suggest that’s the precise type of transfer the club no longer wishes to make. Liam Delap instead?