Raise Your Hand If You Saw a Double Touch

Barcelona 3 Benfica 1 (4-1 Agg)

An early exchange of goals, with a Raphinha opener answered by a Nicolas Otamendi header, briefly prolonged Benfica’s hopes of extending their stay in the competition. But Lamine Yamal soon extinguished those hopes with a curling dagger so effortlessly exquisite it asks not whether he’s overhyped but whether the heights of his potential might be understated.

There’s no understating Raphinha's contributions this campaign; he scored again in the 42nd minute to put the tie well beyond reach. With (spoiler alert!) Liverpool’s exit from the competition, the Brazilian winger may have moved into the driver’s seat for Ballon d’Or honors.

Liverpool 0 PSG 1 (1-1 Agg, PSG advance on penalties)

PSG did a lot of talking, and then they backed it up.

Over the last week, nearly every member of the Parisian delegation voiced their confidence in the club’s chances of advancing despite the 1-0 defeat suffered at Parc des Princes. Those who worship at the Church of Fortress Anfield cautioned the hubris of expecting a triumphant, come-from-behind result in front of the Kop.

But Luis Enrique’s men were unbothered, and they were likely emboldened by Arne Slot’s choice of the same starting XI that they so decisively played off the pitch a week earlier (Alisson’s 54 saves notwithstanding).

Despite an early barrage of Liverpool chances, including several that will disrupt Mo Salah's sleep, PSG weathered the storm. They found their breakthrough just 12 minutes in, with Ousmane Dembélé benefitting from an Ibrahima Konaté-Alisson mixup. The sides exchanged blows for 108 more minutes, treating observers to one of the great Round of 16 clashes in history.

In the sport’s classic injustice, a tie this fantastic settled for trial-by-penalty. Of course, Darwin Núñez registered the first miss; the cruel footballing gods seem eager to subject the Uruguayan to gut-wrenching torture at every opportunity. A second miss came from a Curtis Jones stutter-step run-up that we’re not sure an Englishman has ever scored. Italian? Sure. Brazilian? You bet. English? Best to just step up and put your foot through it, mate.

Desiré Doué, a consistent and terrifying source of danger after joining the action, sealed the historic victory for a PSG side that looks as balanced as any in the competition. Luis Enrique lost Kylian Mbappé and produced something much more complete and cohesive, leaving fans all over Europe to regret their own club’s recent managerial appointments.

After his team's performance over two legs, Enrique could tell me the world is flat and I might believe him.

As for the Reds, Fortress Anfield may be more pillow fort than impenetrable citadel in European competition. The defeat replicated the sting of an extra-time home elimination against Atletico Madrid in 2020, the last game before lockdowns.

Liverpool won’t have a lockdown period to dwell on this one. Wembley awaits on Sunday.

Lille 1 Dortmund 2 (2-3 Agg)

We picked on Lille-Dortmund last week, that ham sandwich of Champions League ties. The most Europa of them all.

To the neutral observer, this one felt much like a middle-of-the-road college football bowl game, subdued by the recognition that neither side is likely to win the whole thing. We were just waiting for the ritual sacrifice of a breakfast pastry during the celebrations.

Even Lille’s last-ditch efforts to find an equalizer—at home, mind you—felt half-hearted. Jonathan David scored again for the home side to put them ahead early, but that goal was canceled out from the spot by Emre Can shortly after the start of the second half.

A thunderous Maximilian Beier finish propelled Dortmund to the quarterfinals.

Perhaps we’re being harsh. After all, Dortmund made the final last season, but this Dortmund side currently sit 10th in the Bundesliga. They’re likely to have a difficult time against a suddenly flying Barcelona.

Atlético 1 Madrid 0 (1-1 Agg, Madrid advance on penalties)

It took just 27 seconds for Conor Gallagher to put the home side back on level terms in what was the closest Chelsea will come to a Champions League goal this season. If there was any doubt about Atlético’s ability to rebound from disappointment over the weekend and a 1-0 deficit last week, Gallagher quickly extinguished it.

Sensing vulnerability, Simeone’s side inflicted frequent pressure on their visitors, managing 8 shots on goal to Madrid’s 3. Those efforts appeared to be for naught when Kylian Mbappe won a 70th-minute penalty. However, Vinicius Junior’s effort posed a greater threat to the International Space Station than Oblak’s net, leaving the Atléti advantage intact.

For the second time this week, penalties would decide a legendary knockout. The first four penalties were tucked away decisively until-- suddenly--the fourth was not. VAR adjudged Julian Alvarez to have inadvertently touched the ball with his slipping plant leg before knocking it home with his right foot. The touch was imperceptible from most broadcast angles, though a frame-by-frame examination appears to show the very slightest of nudges before Alvarez’s shooting foot strikes the ball.

Either way, Courtois was well beaten, and disallowing the goal is an exceedingly harsh outcome in a sport where a goalkeeper leaving the line early results in a simple retake. UEFA might agree, as the rule is reportedly under review.

Jan Oblak saved a Lucas Vazquez effort, briefly restoring parity before a Marcos Llorente effort found the post, opening the door for Antonio Rüdiger to deliver the fatal blow.

That potential rule change will do little to assuage Atlético’s bereavement, and the gravitational force pulling Madrid through Champions League knockouts feels as alive as ever.

Notes Hot Off the Gegenpress:

🔴⚪ Nursing a 7-1 advantage, Mikel Arteta, manager of Left-Back FC, started Kieran Tierney in attack.

No, you haven’t time-traveled to 2017: Raheem Sterling was your Man of the Match!

📈 Marco Asensio scored another brace off the bench for Villa in their 6-1 aggregate win over Brugges, setting up a date with his parent club PSG. In mere years, Aston Villa have soared from relegation fodder to Champions League Quarterfinal.

🇩🇪 Harry Kane scored and assisted to solidify Bayern’s two-leg domination of a suddenly listless Leverkusen. As the Leverkusen social media admin pointed out, you can’t spell “Believe” without “Lev.”

I regret to inform them that you also can’t spell “Irrelevant” without “Lev,” and that’s precisely what Xabi Alonso’s side were over two legs.

🇮🇹 Marcus Thuram thumped an 8th-minute finish to send Inter Milan coasting to the quarters against a Feyenoord side ill-equipped to do anything about it. All of Slot’s Tots endured defeat this week.

🟥 A brutal Mats Hummels giveaway and subsequent red card in the 11th minute left Roma vulnerable at Athletic Bilbao. Nico Williams exposed that vulnerability, driving Bilbao to victory with a brace (one post shy of a hat trick), punctuated by this ridiculous run.

Just think of all the recently-signed Chelsea wingers he could displace (more on that in News & Notes).

3⃣ Of all players, Alessio Romagnoli scored in a third consecutive match for Lazio, leveling the second leg against Plzen and sealing victory in the tie.

⚪🔵 Finally fielding a near-full-strength lineup, Spurs overcame a 1-0 deficit at home against AZ Alkmaar. Son’s pressing opened the door for a Wilson Odobert leveler 26 minutes in. Shortly after half-time, James Maddison snatched the aggregate lead for Spurs off a Son assist.

A poor exchange between Lucas Bergvall and Wilson Odobert in their own box allowed Peer “Don’t Call Me Teun” Koopmeiners to equalize, but Odobert soon atoned. The French winger, who hadn’t scored for Tottenham before Thursday night, made it a brace from a beautiful team goal to send Spurs to the quarters.

🔴⚪ We didn’t need to wait 120 minutes for a penalty shootout at Old Trafford, where we saw three penalties given in 50 minutes. Mikel Oyarzabal converted his spot kick to open the scoring, while Bruno Fernandes capably dispatched two of his own.

Jon Aramburu felled a streaking Patrick Dorgu from behind, earning a red card shortly after entering the match. The floodgates soon opened, with Fernandes making it a hat trick (this time from open play) and Diogo Dalot adding a fourth from a Hojlund assist.

United fans will revel in the strength of two performances, from Ayden Heaven and Joshua Zirkzee.

🔴🔵 Next up for United is Lyon, who blasted past FCSB thanks to braces from Georges Mikautadze and Ernest Nuamah. Ah, a European quarterfinal made in early-2000s heaven.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Mourinho’s Fenerbahce found their way back into the tie in Glasgow, drawing level thanks to a Sebastian Szymanski brace. But Rangers keeper Jack Butland was the hero in penalties as three out of five Fenerbahce takers failed to score.

🇪🇺 In Conference League action, a goal from Kieran Dewsbury-Hall secured Chelsea's comfortable progression. Antony scored and assisted for Real Betis, as did Isco in a 4-0 thumping of Vitoria Guimaraes. That’s five goals in five games for Isco, and 4 goals and 2 assists for Antony in his Betis spell. Just proves the old adage true:

You can take the man out of Manchester United…

…and you can ABSOLUTELY take the Manchester United out of the man.

Fiorentina came from behind to clip Panathinaikos thanks to a Rolando Mandragora humdinger and an incredible turn and finish from the resurgent Moise Kean.

🦩 Lionel Messi returned to the pitch as a substitute, making his first appearance in Jamaica and treating the fans to a late goal. Luis Suarez scored from the spot in a 2-0 win over Cavalier SC.

😮‍💨 A 2-0 victory over Millwall, paired with draws for Burnley and Sheffield United, saw Leeds regain some breathing room atop the Championship. They have a four-point cushion in the automatic promotion race and a two-point lead for the title.

🇲🇽 After two cagey affairs, a 1-0 loss via own goal and a draw, Club América finally asserted its superiority over Chivas, winning the third El Clasico in a week by a score of 4-1 to advance in Concacaf Champions Cup action.

Despite a late Sergio Ramos spot kick, Monterrey fell via away goals (remember those?!) to Vancouver after a 2-2 second leg in Mexico.

MCI vs. BRI (11:00 AM SAT)

Five straight league wins have propelled Brighton within just one point of City heading into this suddenly crucial clash at the Etihad. Pep’s side have had a week to lick their wounds after the defeat at Forest, but will rest be the answer for a City side devoid of consistency as they face the surging Gulls?

ARS vs. CHE (9:30 AM SUN)

For all the talk about an Arsenal title challenge and Chelsea’s volatile season, the Blues can pull within three points of second place with a win at the Emirates. It could be a tall task after another strenuous Conference League outing on Thursday. Maybe Declan Rice can break out this celebration if he scores another belter.

🏆 Carabao Cup Final: LIV vs. NEW (12:30 PM SUN, Paramount+)

Liverpool can’t mourn their unceremonious ousting from the Champions League for long. In just a few short days, they’ll go from weeping over the end of one trophy hunt to contesting the least important one of the season (sorry, Carabao stans). Standing in their way? A Newcastle side missing Anthony Gordon and Lewis Hall. Regardless, Newcastle still have Alexander Isak (for now), and that man is a problem (that Liverpool hope will eventually become their solution).

Will Liverpool play the role of dangerous, wounded animal or crestfallen mope?

Mainz vs. Freiburg (SAT 10:30 AM ET)

Improbable third hosts improbable fifth in a clash of Champions League hopefuls in Germany. Mainz are unbeaten in their last five, winning four of those contests, while Freiburg have cooled after a perfect February. You know the season has taken a refreshing turn when Mainz-Freiburg is more deserving of a feature than Leipzig-Dortmund.

Atlético Madrid vs. Barcelona (4:00 PM SUN)

Diego Simeone’s men just fought heroically for 120 minutes only to fall in excruciatingly controversial and devastating fashion to their cross-town rivals. Tell them what they’ve won!

A date with Barcelona.

Atlético’s European conquest is over, but their domestic rivals will still face the midweek strain of advancing in that competition. With full focus on La Liga glory, Atlético has a unique opportunity to revitalize its title charge this weekend. There’s no better way to brighten the mood after multiple disappointments than beating Barcelona at home.

…Well, maybe beating Real Madrid, but let’s not salt that wound.

Atalanta vs. Inter (3:45 PM SUN)

For weeks, Atalanta have been lingering at the outskirts of the Scudetto race, just waiting for their moment to storm to the forefront. That moment arrives on Sunday afternoon as league leaders Inter Milan visit. Who will step up and play hero—or, as they call it in Napoli, “Philip Billings”—for Atalanta?

PSG vs. Marseille (3:45 PM SUN)

You’ll never find a more meaningless first-versus-second fixture than this one! Unbeaten PSG are 16 points clear at the top, but is this the day their invincibility breaks? After the highs of European triumph at Anfield, it could be hard to find motivation for such a quaint little domestic duel.

Something tells us Luis Enrique will figure it out.

🐐 Atlanta hosts Inter Milan Sunday at 7:00 PM, but will we see Messi return to the starting XI?

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 The Steel City Derby between Sheffield Wednesday and Sheffield United kicks off at 8:30 AM on Sunday.

🇦🇷 In Argentina, the Avellaneda Derby between Independiente and Racing kicks off on Sunday at 3:00 PM. Independiente are currently top of Group B.

🇧🇷 Palmeiras, led by Estevao, hosts Corinthians in the first leg of the Campeonato Paulista Final.

💰 Boehly’s already splashing the Club World Cup cash!

Today, Chelsea completed the signing of 17-year-old Portuguese winger Geovany Quenda, who will join in 2026. The fee is reportedly between €45-50 million. We’re sure Quenda will be thrilled when Chelsea sign Nico Williams and three South American wingers to be named later over the summer.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Tommy Tuchel revealed his first England squad. The biggest talking points: Jordan Henderson and Marcus Rashford are back with the Three Lions. That’s right England, you’re not rid of Hendo yet! New manager, same Saudi League legend!

Incredible validation for Rashford after heading out on loan. He’s the lone “United player” in the squad.

🇺🇸 Mauricio Pochettino chose his USMNT squad for the upcoming Concacaf Nations League fixtures. The drama? Giovanni Reyna, in. Alejandro Zendejas and Brendan Aaronson, out.

Reyna has played sparingly for a struggling Dortmund side to little positive effect, so perhaps he could use the minutes? Meanwhile, Zendejas has notched 10 goals and 10 assists in his last 30 matches for Club America, netting again in this week’s fixture against Chivas. A devastating omission for the man in form.

🇸🇳 In other international break news, Como attacker Assane Diao has chosen to play for Senegal, preferring the African nation to Spain, where a senior team call-up may have been harder to secure in the short term.

👨‍💼 Arsenal hired Andrea Berta as sporting director. He has worked in the same role at Atletico since 2017, though Diego Simeone surely exerted significant transfer influence. While Berta inherits a highly competitive squad, he faces the tall task of finding the finishing touches to put them over the title-chasing hump.

First up? A striker. Mikel Merino simply will not do. And newfound attacker Kieran Tierney is off to Celtic in the summer.