Remontada? You'll get Remo-nada in like it.

Aston Villa 3 PSG 2 (4-5 Aggregate)

Was this the noblest exit in Champions League history?

PSG scored twice in the first half hour, through fullbacks Achraf Hakimi and Nuno Mendes, to extend their aggregate advantage to a seemingly insurmountable four goals. Lesser sides would’ve packed it in, slowed by a creeping sense of resignation.

But not this Villa side.

Youri Tielemans pulled a goal back in the first half, then John McGinn and Ezri Konsa (fed by Marcus Rashford) struck twice in two minutes to send Villa Park into delirium. In victory or defeat, these scenes are the reason we watch. That feeling of surging belief that anything is possible, sparked by your side’s refusal to surrender.

That’s how memories are made, bonds forged, and legacies begun. But it was ultimately a losing effort. Villa had their chances to equalize but couldn’t force the ball into the back of the net. Deservedly, Paris—one of the best sides in the world this year—go through, but you can’t help but think that Tuesday’s performance on the pitch will be more impactful for a Villa side that suddenly realizes they belong among the game’s very best.

Or they could miss qualifying for next year’s competition altogether. That’s football, eh?

Dortmund 3 Barcelona 1 (3-5 Aggregate)

Kudos to Dortmund. They almost did enough to make our complete dismissal of this fixture look foolish.

Almost.

Serhou Guirassy scored twice, in the 11th and 49th minutes, to cut the deficit to two in front of a Signal Iduna crowd suddenly imbued with belief. But five minutes later, Ramy Bensebaini conceded an own-goal, effectively extinguishing those fleeting hopes. Guirassy later scored a consolatory goal to make it an unhappy hat trick.

All that matters is advancing, but Barcelona won’t be thrilled with the vulnerability and lack of cutting-edge they showed in Germany. They managed just two shots on target to Dortmund’s 11. Still, it’s their first Champions League semifinal appearance in six seasons, a meaningful step for Hansi Flick’s men, both emotionally and financially.

Real Madrid 1 Arsenal 2 (1-5 Aggregate)

All the talk of a remontada seemed to become destiny writ large in the game’s 13th minute when Bukayo Saka tried to chip a penalty at the Bernabeu against a Madrid side in need of no extra motivation.

Courtois dutifully saved the flimsy effort, and Saka’s choice seemed like the kind that Arsenal would rue for years to come when Madrid inevitably overturned the deficit.

But that didn’t happen. Like at all.

Madrid failed to register a single shot on target in the first half, and the next player to find the back of the net was Saka, atoning for his earlier folly and seemingly defying everything we know about momentum and cruel fates in football.

Though Vinicius pulled a goal back minutes later, the match was ultimately a bore, marred by lengthy VAR reviews and a toothless Madrid attack. Gabriel Martinelli finally started the celebrations with a goal in stoppage time to cement a decisive, convincing, and immortal two-legged drubbing of a club known to be Europe’s premier.

These were the best matches of Mikel Arteta’s tenure, the signature victories that have long eluded the Spaniard. Cynics will say it means little if they don’t ultimately win the competition, but we disagree; these nights will live long in the memories of Arsenal supporters as the ones when their side not only slayed the European giant but conclusively played them off the pitch.

Those memories might have to do; Arsenal will face PSG next.

Inter Milan 2 Bayern 2 (4-3 Aggregate)

Ironically, the closest first-leg tie likely received the least attention in the build-up to the second leg, overshadowed by the remontada that never was.

But Harry Kane changed that in the 52nd minute, equalizing and inviting scores of neutral viewers to eschew the listless match in Madrid for one with a chance of late drama. Inter absorbed the punch with a steely jaw, quickly returning counterpunches through two goals in three minutes from Lautaro Martinez and Benjamin Pavard.

It feels unnatural to type, but Eric Dier of all people cut the deficit to one with a looping header to the far post. Tottenham’s Eric Dier, scoring important Champions League goals.

Bayern threw numbers forward in the game’s dying moments, even putting a header on goal from club legend Thomas Muller, but their search for an equalizer was fruitless. Inter are back in the semifinals for the second time in three years, cerebrally carrying the Italian flag late into the competition.

Barcelona awaits.

Manchester United 5 Lyon 4 (7-6 Aggregate)

Andre Onana absolutely refuses to learn lessons. He celebrated Manuel Ugarte’s early goal by taunting the Lyon supporters as if he hadn’t acutely felt the spiteful sting of karma just a week earlier.

We can set Onana’s imbecilic insistence on tempting fate to the side—for the moment—because Diego Dalot doubled the United advantage in first-half stoppage time.

But in the 71st minute, the familiar feeling of dread began to creep into Old Trafford, as the hungrier Lyon won consecutive headers to nudge the ball onto the welcoming forehead of Corentin Tolisso to cut the deficit. Six minutes later, Nicolas Tagliafico snuck a strike over the line with Onana tardy in his attempt to parry it. This club has have a wicked habit in recent years of indulging that sense of impending doom, allowing or even inviting it to come to fruition.

And it would get worse, even when it should’ve gotten better.

On the cusp of second-half stoppage time, Corentin Tolisso incurred the softest second yellow in history, reducing Lyon to ten men. That did little to stop them, as Rayan Cherki leveraged his red-hot form to unleash a venomous go-ahead strike. Malick Fofana earned a penalty minutes later, which was reliably converted by Alexander Lacazette to double the lead and silence the home support.

That was the 109th minute. Believe it or not, this match still had three goals yet to be scored. What you wouldn’t have believed (if the score wasn’t written above) is that all three goals were Manchester United’s.

Bruno Fernandes converted a spot kick in the 114th, Kobbie Mainoo lashed past Lucas Perri at the far post in the 120th, and 86 seconds later, Harry Maguire put that slabhead to its natural use, heading into the net to a euphoric eruption not seen in the red part of Manchester for years.

What. A. Game.

United channeled their inner Rory McIlroy, refusing to give in to their most haunting recurring failures and finding a way to overcome them in cathartic fashion. Rory got a Green Jacket. United get a few more bucks for the Build-A-Circus-Tent coffers.

Frankfurt 0 Spurs 1 (1-2 Aggregate)

It took only a Dominic Solanke penalty and a second half of butt cheeks clenched tighter than the lid of a dormant jar of pasta sauce to see Spurs through to the semifinals. Ange’s side deployed the ill-conceived strategy of surrendering the ball as often as possible in Frankfurt’s attacking third, but the home side couldn’t take advantage despite several close calls.

Lazio 3 Bodo/Glimt 1 (Bodo advances on penalties)

Facing a 2-0 deficit, Lazio rallied with a first-half goal from Valentin Castellanos and a last-gasp, stoppage-time equalizer from Tijani Noslin. Boulaye Dia added a third nine minutes into extra time, but Andreas Helmerson pulled Bodo back from the brink ten minutes later (before seeing a red card in the 120th minute).

In a parade of penalty shootout saves and misses, Lazio ultimately failed to hit the target once more than their Norwegian opponents, keeping the stealthy Scandinavians in the competition.

Athletic 2 Rangers 0

Penalties ultimately decided this fixture, with one given to and converted by Oihan Sancet and one perhaps wrongfully denied of Cyriel Dessers. Still, despite a valiant effort from the Glaswegians, Athletic were the better side over two legs.

Nico Williams sealed their progression with a header from an inch-perfect Oscar De Marcos cross. It’s a poignant parting gift from De Marcos, who will retire at season’s end.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Newcastle battered Crystal Palace 5-0 at home to move into third place. The Magpies look as likely as any of the contenders to return to the Champions League next season. Crystal Palace, on the other hand, have suffered consecutive demoralizing defeats, bringing an end to their improbably scorching run of form.

🇧🇷 Santos won 2-0 on Wednesday night, but the evening was a net loss, as Neymar exited again due to injury in the 34th minute. We hardly realized he was back from the last one.

Flamengo put six past Juventude to go top of the Brazilian table in the season’s early going. Pedro, perhaps best known for getting punched by his manager two seasons ago, scored a brace.

🇲🇽 Liga MX leaders Toluca beat San Luis 1-0, extending their advantage to four points as America lost 1-0 to Monterrey. Cruz Azul climbed into second place with a 2-1 win over Leon, aided by a goal from former Milan player (if you can even call him that) Luka Romero.

Villa vs. Newcastle (12:30 PM ET SAT)

You won’t find two Premier League teams hotter than these ones. Though Villa fell midweek, they won’t be discouraged by that effort, and they’ve still won their last four Premier League matches. Newcastle enter winners of their last six in all competitions, having played their best football recently. Five points separate the sides in the table, and the stakes for European football couldn’t be higher.

Madrid vs. Athletic (3:00 PM SUN)

Madrid’s form couldn’t be wobblier (by their standards), their confidence shaken by a European night in which they reached into their magic hat and found nothing. They’ve lost three of their last four matches in all competitions, and further dropped points could see Barcelona escape from view. To make matters worse, they’ll be missing Karate Kid Kylian Mbappe. Athletic can cement its position in fourth place with a result at the Bernabeu.

Bologna vs. Inter (12:00 PM SUN)

Bologna’s intrepid run of form came to an end last weekend at Atalanta, tumbling them out of the top four, but they’re still a threatening foe for visitors Inter. Napoli will hope that the toll—both physical and emotional—of Inter’s midweek progression to the Champions League semifinal will leave the leaders vulnerable to dropped points.

Milan vs. Atalanta (2:45 PM SUN)

After snapping their skid against Bologna last weekend, Atalanta will look to further strengthen their grip on third place in a visit to the San Siro. Milan comfortably vanquished Udinese last time out, and they can keep fading European hopes alive with a result this weekend.

Dortmund vs. Gladbach (11:30 AM SUN)

A loser-leaves-town match for Champions League qualification, contested by two teams on the periphery of the conversation. Dortmund are unbeaten in their last three Bundesliga contests coming off last weekend’s thrilling 2-2 draw in Der Klassiker. But they may have saved their strongest form for too late in the campaign. Just five matches remain, and the gap to fourth is six points. Gladbach sit two points ahead of Dortmund but have disappointed in their last two outings.

Monaco vs. Strasbourg (1:00 PM SAT)

Monaco scored a massive and decisive victory over Marseille last weekend, but the margins in Ligue 1 remain razor-thin. Just five points separate Monaco in second place and Nice in seventh. Strasbourg currently sit sixth, conveniently three points behind Monaco. Last week’s draw against Nice snapped a five-game winning streak, but Strasbourg remain nine games unbeaten.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 There’s a full slate of English Championship matches today, but we’re looking ahead to Monday when second-place Burnley hosts third-place Sheffield United in what could be a last gasp for the Blades’ hopes of automatic promotion. They’ve lost three successive matches to create a five-point gap.

🇧🇪 Genk hosts Union Saint-Giloise on Sunday at 10:00 AM ET. The Belgian league leaders have just a one-point advantage over Club Bruges and a three-point advantage over the visitors USG.

🇵🇹 Benfica visits fifth-place Guimaraes on Saturday at 3:30 PM ET. It’s a challenging fixture for a side looking to keep pace with Sporting atop the table.

🇳🇱 Ajax plays at fourth-place Utrecht on Sunday morning (6:15 AM ET), looking to inch one step closer to claiming the Eredivisie title. They can extend their lead to 12 points with four matches remaining, though PSV have a game in hand.

🇺🇸 Inter Miami have drawn their last two MLS matches, and they visit Eastern Conference leaders Columbus on Saturday at 4:30 PM ET.

🇲🇽 In Mexico, first-place hosts second as Toluca and Cruz Azul clash at 9:05 PM ET on Saturday. Toluca have won six straight to charge to the top of the table, led by 12 goals from league leader Paulinho.

🇸🇦 Cristiano Ronaldo and Al Nassr visit fifth-place Al Qadsiah this afternoon at 2:00 PM ET. Al Nassr have won their last four, boosted by six goals from Ronaldo.

🇧🇷 Two bitter derbies highlight the action in Brazil. Vasco de Gama hosts Flamengo in the Clássico dos Milhões on Saturday at 5:30 PM ET, while Gremio hosts Internacional in the Grenal at 8:00 PM ET on Saturday.

4⃣ One week after Mo Salah delighted Liverpool supporters, it was Virgil Van Dijk’s turn, with the talismanic captain inking a two-year extension to keep Premier League attackers in his pocket until 2027.

🇺🇸❌ Antoine Griezmann spurned the long-rumored advances of LAFC to agree on a contract extension with Atlético Madrid. While many believe the French attacker is destined for MLS, his superlative form indicates there’s still a chapter to be written under Simeone.

❓ Kylian Mbappe received only a one-match ban for this foul, which earned a straight red card after VAR review.

Does not compute. That’s three games! Minimum! The referee’s report said Mbappe was “disputing the ball.” Of course, we agree: he disputed the ball like Johnny Lawrence “disputed the mat” in Karate Kid when he swept the leg.

Ah, but the Copa Del Rey El Clasico beckons. Nothing to see here, folks! Corruption?! What’s that?!