We Beg You: Anybody But City

🏆 League leaders Inter visited second-place Napoli on Saturday evening for a high-stakes battle with massive Scudetto implications. Federico Dimarco delivered a peach of a free kick in the 22nd minute to give Inter the advantage, but a second-half surge from the home side put Inter’s defense under persistent pressure. Eventually, that pressure gave way to a Philip Billing effort which was saved by Josep Martinez right back into the massive Dane’s path. The six-foot-six Billing used every millimeter of his long right leg to redirect the rebound into the back of the net.

The result? Scenes. Limbs. Pandemonium.

That, right there, is why we watch.

Billing is on loan from Bournemouth. We live in a world where Bournemouth loanees score critical goals in Italian title races. Credit to Napoli for a very Napoli signing. It’s equally amazing and perplexing to see Scott McTominay and Philip Billing combine to boss an Italian midfield in what feels like an unrealistic FC 25 career-mode team.

The two sides are separated by just one point in what could be an all-time title race after Saturday’s stirring display of passion at the Maradona.

🔵⚫ Atalanta wasted an opportunity to gain ground, registering a goalless draw against cellar-dwellers Venezia. A win would’ve put them on equal points with Napoli. Like an Ademola Lookman penalty, it’s an opportunity sorely missed.

⚫⚪ Speaking of penalties, Udinese’s designated penalty taker Florian Thauvin managed to dispatch a 38th-minute spot kick without drama. Lorenzo Lucca was on the pitch, so we’ll assume that drama is safely in the rear-view mirror.

🔴🟠 Roma’s massive resurgence under Claudio Ranieri continues, as they beat Inbox FC-darling Como 2-1 behind second-half goals from Alexis Saelemakers and Artem Dovbyk. They’re now 11 games unbeaten in Serie A, with ten wins in that stretch. Crazy form from a manager so good he won a Premier League title with Leicester. Without Claudio, Jamie Vardy’s relentless taunting of Spurs supporters would ring hollow. Thank goodness for that man.

🔴⚫ In less stellar managerial news, Sérgio Conceição’s Milan stumbled to a 2-1 defeat at the hands of Lazio, their third straight in the league. 10-man Milan equalized through Samuel Chukwueze in the 85th minute, but a late penalty saw reliable veteran Pedro win the three points for Lazio in the 98th. Conceição did not start João Félix but is unable to quit him nonetheless, subbing him on for a struggling Yunus Musah in the 37th minute.

⚫⚪ Goals from Khephren Thuram and Teun Koopmeiners earned Juventus a 2-0 win over Verona at home. Juventus have won five straight in Serie A, climbing into fourth place and offering a faint shout at the league leaders just six points up. Maybe Thiago Motta is competent after all?

🟢⚪ Hands trembled with fear in Madrid when Antony’s red card was rescinded, allowing him to play for Betis against the Spanish giant. But it was not Antony who would seal Madrid’s fate on the night.

After a 10th-minute goal from Brahim Diaz opened the scoring, American Johnny Cardoso equalized on a header from a set piece. Madrid ultimately fell at the foot of one of their own, as Isco scored from the spot early in the second half, launching into a knee slide for which he would later apologize. PSA: It’s okay to be happy that you scored. Even against your former club.

🔥 Atlético and Athletic Bilbao were playing to a stalemate until the introduction of Julián Alvarez. Seven minutes after he entered, the in-form Alvarez secured the Atléti winner. A more accurate way to describe Alvarez’s form at the moment:

🥇 Barcelona breezed through Real Sociedad, aided by an Aritz Elustondo red card in the 17th minute. Gerard Martin and Marc Casado scored their first professional goals, while Ronald Araujo and Robert Lewandowski put the game out of reach in the second half. Back to the top of the table for Barca.

👔 Five La Liga matches ended in a draw, but perhaps the most consequential came at the bottom of the table, where Umar Sadiq leveled the score with a spectacular back-heel finish in the 87th minute for Valencia. Every point will matter in the fight for safety.

🏆 Bayern have navigated a tricky patch in their Bundesliga schedule masterfully, dispatching Stuttgart 3-1 on Friday night. Sloppy defensive play in the second half doomed Stuttgart after a level first frame. Bayern’s goal difference has grown to a herculean +52, though the lead atop the table is steady at just eight points.

🔝4⃣ Mainz scored a significant boon to its Top 4 hopes, erasing a first-minute Xavi Simons opener for Leipzig with second-half goals from Nadiem Amiri and Jonathan Burkardt.

⚫🟡 Serhoi Guirassy continued his prolific form for Dortmund, breaking the ice in the 50th minute en route to a 2-0 win over St. Pauli.

🟢⚪ A Patrick Wimmer brace secured a win for Wolfsburg on the road, as the club is creeping into the periphery of the European conversation.

🔴⚫ Second-place Leverkusen made easy work of third-place Frankfurt, with four goals from four different scorers. The pick of the bunch came from a long Aleix Garcia effort in the second half. Leverkusen are applying mild pressure on Bayern domestically before they meet in Europe midweek.

🏆 Nothing is standing in the way of PSG’s 13th consecutive league title. The Parisians breezed past Lille—a formidable opponent—with four first-half goals from four different scorers, including the red-hot Ousmane Dembélé. Soon-to-be-free-agent Jonathan David nicked a consolation goal in the match’s late stages.

🎩 Mika Biereth notched another hat trick for Monaco on Friday night, his third in his short Monegasque career. The January signing has scored ten goals in total for the club. Not to pour salt in this wound again, but when Biereth scores a hat trick, we're required to remind you that he's an Arsenal academy grad. Those are the rules.

Ouch, Mikel.

The win, paired with Lille’s loss, sees Monaco return to the top four.

🔴🔵 Lyon snuck past Micah Richards’ favorite side behind a brace from Alexander Lacazette, with the winner coming in the 82nd minute.

⚽⚽ Goals from Amine Gouiri and Mason Greenwood in the 73rd and 77th minutes respectively saw Marseille retain its three-point advantage over third-place Nice.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 FA Cup

Aston Villa 2 Cardiff City 0

A second-half brace from Marco Asensio, with one goal assisted by Marcus Rashford, put Villa in the FA Cup quarterfinals for the first time in 10 years. Rashford created six chances in the match, tied for the highest he recorded in 426 games at United. The newcomers strike again, but will the undeniable pair start against Club Brugge on Tuesday? It would be a good ebening for it, eh Unai?

Crystal Palace 3 Millwall 1

Crystal Palace advanced past Millwall despite one of the most violent tackles you’ll ever see by Millwall keeper Liam Roberts on our tucked-in king, Jean-Philippe Mateta. Mateta needed 25 stitches to close a gash behind his ear and suffered a concussion, though we suppose it could’ve been worse. Get well soon, JPM!

Eddie Nketiah sealed the tie, scoring in his second straight for Palace.

Bournemouth 1 Wolves 1 (BOU advance on penalties)

Evanilson returned to the starting XI for Bournemouth, scoring in the 30th minute to put the previously striker-less Cherries ahead. Matheus Cunha (seriously, who else?) equalized in the 60th minute with a wonderstrike. However, the Brazilian would see red—literally and figuratively—in extra time, slap-punching Milos Kerkez twice and topping it with a headbutt. Cunha will surely draw transfer interest, but will a penchant for trouble scare off suitors? The best ability, after all, is often availability.

Dango Ouattara dazzled with the most casual of penalties. No run-up, no problem. The anti-Simone Zaza.

Manchester City 3 Plymouth 1

Giant-slayers Plymouth looked ready to repeat their unlikely triumph over Liverpool, going ahead in the 38th minute at City. But the dream lasted only seven minutes before Nico O’Reilly restored reality. O’Reilly would make it a brace midway through the second half before Kevin De Bruyne assured victory for City. Even in victory, Pep Guardiola could spare no kind words for the ball used in the FA Cup. Jabulani ball, you are not!

Newcastle 1 Brighton 2

Alexander Isak scored a first-half penalty and had another blistering finish ruled out for offsides. Yankuba Minteh equalized against his former club, refusing to celebrate so adamantly that it bordered on excessive. It’s one thing to show respect, but it’s another entirely to deflate the goal-scoring joy from your current side. Anthony Gordon received a red card late in regular time for a two-handed shove to Jan Paul van Hecke’s face. The red card will exclude the boyhood Reds fan from the Carabao Cup Final against Liverpool later this month.

It seems Gordon is growing in resemblance to White Goodman not only in appearance, but in actions as well.

Tariq Lamptey received a sending-off of his own in stoppage time through a second yellow card. The ten-on-ten extra period culminated with a beautiful lifted finish from Danny Welbeck, who pulled the sand wedge from his bag to clear Dubravka and find the top of the net.

Manchester United 1 Fulham 1 (FUL advance on penalties)

Even the FA Cup, so hospitable to Erik Ten Haag, could not save Ruben Amorim from his side’s languid form. Again, it was Bruno Fernandes who stepped up to equalize for United after a Calvin Bassey opener. Despite the captain’s heroics, United would fall in penalties with efforts from Lindelof and Zirkzee both saved by Bernd Leno.

Somewhere, a grinning Ten Haag watches highlights of his two FA Cup triumphs, wistfully wondering if he could’ve won another had United only bought him one more Ajax player.

Nottingham Forest 1 Ipswich Town 1 (NOT advance on penalties)

Inexplicably free headers for George Hirst and Ryan Yates in the second half knotted this match up at 1 apiece. Yates put another in the back of the net which was chalked off for offsides. Ultimately, it was a poor penalty attempt from Jack Taylor on the tenth attempt of the night that was happily parried by Mats Sels to send the Tricky Trees onward.

Preston North End 3 Burnley 0

We don’t think you came here to read about the marquee bout of the weekend between Preston and Burnley.

Eight teams remain in FA Cup action: Fulham, Crystal Palace, Preston, Aston Villa, Bournemouth, Manchester City, Brighton, and Nottingham Forest.

City aside, the last time any of those teams won the FA Cup was 1959 (Forest). The Beatles hadn’t even “banded” yet, let alone disbanded. Ben-Hur hadn’t won an Oscar yet, let alone Anora. Real Madrid hadn’t even won a European Cup y—actually they were en route to their fifth straight.

Got it, not that much has changed.

Still, five of the eight teams left have never won the tournament. The most recent major trophy win for any side not named City came from Aston Villa in 1996.

While that evil empire in sky blue has a knack for breaking hearts, we might see what this historic trophy means to a club that hasn’t tasted silverware since the dawn of the millennium…or ever.

Please. We beg you, footballing gods.

Anybody but City.

🦩 A resting Lionel Messi didn’t make the trip to Houston. Good thing Inter Miami still have generational legend Luis Suarez, who assisted three goals and scored a beauty of his own in a 4-1 win.

🚲 Can we interest you in a stoppage-time bicycle-kick equalizer? That’s what DC United’s Jacob Murrell delivered in the 96th minute Saturday night.

🇧🇷 Chelsea signing Estêvão Willian became the first Brazilian to reach the 20-goal mark before turning 18 since Neymar. He scored twice in Palmeiras’ win over Sao Bernardo. That £28 million transfer fee will amortize very nicely for Todd Boehly and Co.

Speaking of Neymar, he scored a free kick from a tight angle in a Santos win. Buzz is building over a potential return to Barcelona. Who says you can’t go home again? We’ll tell you who. Financial reality.

🇲🇽 Sergio Ramos scored his first goal for Rayados in a 4-2 Monterrey win over Santos Laguna.

Club America cruised past Toluca 3-0. Alejandro Zendejas scored and assisted again, bringing his total to five goals and five assists in eight matches.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Coventry City won their eighth match in nine league games, climbing into the playoff places. The Super Frank Lampard turnaround continues, with 36 points amassed in his 18 games in charge.

Birmingham City beat second-place Wycombe 1-0 to move 12 points clear atop League One with a game in hand. For the club’s record spending, anything but automatic promotion would be catastrophic. Consider this catastrophe averted.

🇹🇷 After the midweek drama, Jose Mourinho’s Fenerbahçe moved within four points of Galatasaray at the top of the Turkish Super Lig table.

Elsewhere in Turkey, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s Besiktas have won six matches in a row, with 13 goals scored and just three conceded. We can already feel the gravitational forces pulling that man back to United. At the wheel, at the wheel, Ole’s at the wheel…

🇳🇱 No fluke! Your favorite phrase-of-encouragement-turned-club, Go Ahead Eagles, beat PSV again this weekend after bouncing them from the Dutch Cup midweek. Ajax’s lead atop the Eredivisie table now stands at eight points.

🇩🇪 Lloris Karius, best known for his concussion-induced disaster against Real Madrid in the Champions League Final, returned between the posts for Schalke last week. Karius delivered a lights-out performance in a clean-sheet victory.

He’s not just Diletta Leotta’s arm candy, folks!

The playoffs are over, and the road to Munich is becoming clearer. When the anthem plays across Europe this week, it will herald the arrival of the season's highest-stakes clashes between giants of the continent. This round offers a little bit of everything, from domestic derbies to galactic showdowns and underdog stories.

Real Madrid vs. Atletico Madrid (3:00 PM TUE)

Passage through an unprecedented gauntlet of fixtures continues for Diego Simeone’s men with a Champions League Madrid Derby. Can Julián Alvarez nudge Atléti past the Galacticos for a change?

PSG vs. Liverpool (3:00 PM WED)

The Mamadou Sakho Derby! PSG have been in rampant form, but this isn’t Ligue 1, nor is their opponent as accommodative to a firm hand as Brest. Who will dazzle in the City of Lights, Mo Salah or Ousmane Dembélé?

Bayern Munich vs. Bayer Leverkusen (3:00 PM WED)

Leverkusen’s hopes of erasing the Bundesliga deficit may be fading, but they can still deal a cruel blow to their German rivals by ending their European campaign. Florian Wirtz will be eager to atone for missed opportunities in their 0-0 league draw last month.

We like their chances, because we’d sooner bet on Millwall keeper Liam Roberts having his red card rescinded than Harry Kane winning a Bundesliga-Champions League double.

We wouldn’t dare forget the Champions League’s pesky little brother, where various giants of football seek refuge in the storm of a challenging campaign.

AZ Alkmaar vs. Spurs (12:45 PM THU)

For the club formerly known as Tottenham, there’s precious little else left to play for this season. In February, Ange’s side successfully quieted faint relegation fears while abruptly exiting from both domestic cup competitions. All eggs will go into the Europa League basket, which presents a massive opportunity for a group growing in health and confidence.

AZ Alkmaar are no pushover, beating Galatasaray 6-3 on aggregate to get here. 

Real Sociedad vs. Manchester United (12:45 PM THU)

If you briefly forgot about Erik Ten Haag’s FA Cup mastery, it would be hard to believe Manchester United even qualified for this competition. It’s harder still to believe this group advanced straight to the Round of 16, but here they are. Like Spurs, they’ll be desperate for a season silver lining, and a Sociedad side that just capitulated 4-0 to Barcelona might be inclined to grant their wishes.

Could promising youngster Chido Obi see a start?

🐐 Inter Miami and Messi host Cavalier SC on Thursday evening at 8:00 PM ET in the Concacaf Champions Cup. Don’t pretend to be a ball-knower if you don’t know Cavalier SC, who currently sit 4th in the *checks notes* Jamaica Premier League.

🇺🇸🇲🇽 Tigres visit Cincinnati FC on Tuesday night at 6:30 PM ET in a relatively even match-up of top-tier American and Mexican sides. Can Kevin Denkey continue his prolific form?

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Burnley visits Cardiff with a chance to pull within two points of second-place Sheffield United. The Clarets whimpered out of the FA Cup with an embarrassing 3-0 defeat to Preston this weekend.

Fifth-place Huddersfield host third-place Wrexham today at 2:45 PM ET. Wrexham can move into second place with a win and a Wycombe loss. The title is largely decided, but the second automatic promotion spot is there for the taking for the Deadpool and Rob McElhenny.

Palmeiras completed the South American-record signing of Vitor Roque from Barcelona for €25 million.

Chelsea agreed to sign Brazilian fullback Denner Evangelista from Corinthians for €10 million plus €4 million in add-ons. He’ll join the club in 2026, becoming the latest arrival on a conveyor belt carrying South American talents to Stamford Bridge.

Denner is Arsenal center-back Gabriel Magalhaes’ cousin, so London-based disappointment will soon run in the family.

Dayot Upamecano is reportedly set to sign a contract extension with Bayern Munich.

Arsenal are closing in on the appointment of Andrea Berta, previously of Atletico, to replace Maurice Edu.

Names swirling in unsubstantiated rumors: Alexander Isak to every big club on the planet, Milos Kerkez to Liverpool, Francisco Trincão to United…or to City, Martin Zubimendi to Arsenal or United, and every player Barcelona can’t possibly afford to Barcelona.