Wembley is Burning

EVE 1 WHU 1

Another day, another David Moyes Derby, as the Scottish manager’s previously former, now-current club hosted his previously former, once-again-former side in one of the few remaining games at Goodison Park.

Tomáš Souček—an underrated midfield bagsman—notched the opener for West Ham in the 67th minute. He’s up to seven goals on the season, matching last year’s total. West Ham have long searched for a talismanic striker, but maybe the real #9 was the Souček goals we enjoyed along the way.

The Croatian’s strike left Everton searching for an equalizer to keep their unbeaten run alive, and they found it in the 91st minute when an Idrissa Gueye cross found 6’6 Jake O’Brien in front of goal.

That’s O’Brien’s second streak-saving leveler in the last three games, taking the Blues to nine games unbeaten under Moyes. Hopefully, the Everton supporters wished O'Brien a Happy St. Patrick's Day. Lyon did. Is it St. Patrick's Day? Quick, make a social post about the only ginger in club history!

Fittingly, the two clubs contesting this David Moyes Derby sit level on points in 15th and 16th place.

IPS 2 NOT 4

No trap game for the Trees after last weekend’s emotional win over Manchester City. For once, it was Trees felling Tractors and not the other way around. The scoreline makes this one appear closer than it was, as Forest scored three first-half goals in six minutes to seal a win before the intermission.

Nikola Milenkovic struck first from a corner before a rampaging Anthony Elanga scored a brace within four minutes.

Jens Cajuste pulled one back in the 82nd minute on an exquisite turn and finish, but Portuguese winger Jota Silva quickly extinguished the embers of hope. George Hirst added a consolation goal in stoppage time for the Tractor Boys.

One step closer to Champions League football for Forest, one step closer to relegation for Ipswich.

MCI 2 BRI 2

Manchester City continues to suffer bouts of inconsistency, caused by two emerging crises of belief: 1) City no longer possess the unyielding belief that they can win any game, no matter the deficit, no matter the circumstances, and 2) the opposition believes they can beat City in any game, no matter the deficit, no matter the circumstances.

An early Erling Haaland penalty that might’ve sent City to the races in prior years was merely an obstacle for Brighton to overcome. And overcome it they did, equalizing from a Pervis Estupinan free kick that left Stefan Ortega glued to the floor.

New City signing Omar Marmoush demonstrated again why he was targeted in January, delivering a blistering strike to restore the City advantage. Another January signing, Abdukodir Khusanov hasn’t enjoyed the same good fortune; he found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time in a post-corner scramble as a Brighton shot deflected off his knee and into the net.

The sides are separated by just one point in an enthralling battle for Champions League places.

SOU 1 WOL 2

The relegation six-pointer to end relegation six-pointers! Thanks to a Jørgen Strand Larsen brace, Wolves increased their survival cushion to nine points. It's difficult to imagine them surrendering that advantage, and we can consider this year’s relegation battle all but over.

Meanwhile, the Saints are 17 points from safety, league-worst in both goals scored and allowed. Sights for their campaign are better trained trying to find three more points by any means necessary to avoid cementing their status as the worst Prem side to ever do it.

BOU 1 BRE 2

An alphabetically-adjacent battle of midtable sides heading in different directions.

After starting the season by inspiring and impressing, Bournemouth have fizzled, ruing missed chances of all shapes and sizes. Just one week after blowing a 2-0 lead to Spurs, the Cherries again saw an advantage disappear, as a 17th-minute Vitaly Janelt own goal was leveled by a Yoanne Wissa header from a Bryan Mbeumo corner.

Wissa and Mbeumo have become the Premier League equivalent of CJ McCollum and Damian Lillard in Portland, operating to an extraordinarily high standard in relative obscurity without receiving the commensurate recognition or plaudits.

Christian Norgaard scored the winner for Brentford, and Bournemouth are now closer to the bottom half of the table than to Champions League places.

ARS 1 CHE 0

Needing three points to resuscitate even the faintest of title-chasing pulses, Arsenal found them on Sunday, narrowly beating Chelsea at the Emirates on the back of a Mikel Merino header.

Chelsea managed just two shots on target, their biggest threat posed by the suddenly menacing Marc Cucurella. Jurriën Timber, a massive bright spot for the Gunners in recent weeks, seemingly had some advice for Chelsea manager Enzo Maresca, suggesting he “try harder.”

Ah, the inimitable swagger of a side cruising to the title—wait, checking the standings—sorry, cruising to a 12-point deficit in the title race.

FUL 2 TOT 0

In three Premier League seasons with Tottenham, boyhood Fulham player Ryan Sessegnon recorded just two goals. A promising young career went sour in those North London years, spoiled mostly by injuries but also by inconsistent use.

So, naturally, Sessegnon subbed on for Fulham in the 87th minute and scored one minute later, sealing all three points against his former side.

The loss means little for a Spurs side with all eggs in the Europa League basket, but Mathys Tel is quickly learning that Harry Kane may have embellished the stature and togetherness of the club.

Win the Europa League, and this is all a distant memory.

LEI 0 MAN 3

There are many ways to illustrate the depths of Leicester’s incapacity under Ruud van Nistelrooy, but this one might top them all.

Rasmus Højlund scored against them.

Højlund’s goal, neither fluky nor cheap, was his first in the Premier League since December 7th. Alejandro Garnacho and Bruno Fernandes added second-half goals to seal the humiliation of a sixth straight loss for the Foxes.

Meanwhile, Bruno has netted in three straight and four of the last five games, and United haven’t lost in the league since mid-February. Amorim’s side will open April with a tough run against Forest, City, Lyon, and Newcastle which should offer clarity about their progress.

Carabao Cup Final: NEW 2 LIV 1

Mere days after Champions League devastation, Arne Slot sent the same XI—the one beleaguered by PSG over two legs—out at Wembley to stop the bleeding and seal the first trophy of a domestic double.

That side managed zero shots on target in the first half, punctuated by a flailing Diogo Jota miss on the Red’s best chance of the opening 45 minutes. Newcastle repeatedly looked the more dangerous side, finding a breakthrough in the 45th minute via a Dan Burn header from distance.

The 6’7 Burn found himself marked zonally by 5’9 Alexis Mac Allister. Most players aren’t a threat with their heads as far away from goal as Burn, but he used every inch of his lengthy frame to elicit this reaction from Arne Slot: “I’ve never in my life seen a player from so far away head a ball so powerfully into the far corner.”

Alexander Isak doubled the advantage in the 52nd minute, just moments after he had another goal ruled out by VAR. Liverpool toothlessly threw bodies forward to no avail for the rest of the frame. It looked like they could play another 90 minutes and still fail to find a goal...until substitute Harvey Elliott fed Federico Chiesa (still a Liverpool player) for a clinical finish to set up a nervy conclusion.

It was for naught, as Newcastle masterfully pinned the ball in the corner in what has to be the only time winning a throw-in has been (rightfully) celebrated with a chest bump. When the final seconds ticked away, so too did 70 years of waiting; Newcastle finally had their trophy, and they thoroughly deserved it.

Though Newcastle have spent—and handsomely—this is not a squad of excess. For every Isak and Tonali, there’s a Dan Burn and a Fabian Schar. For every Bruno Guimaraes, a Jacob Murphy. Cynics will mourn a trophy bought, but it was refreshing to see a once downtrodden giant of English football climb the Wembley stairs in triumph.

The good news in an atrocious week for Liverpool? The international break is here, we guess? They discovered Federico Chiesa still wears red? Naturally, we all look forward to seeing the Diaz-Jota-Salah front three after the break.

🔴⚪ Cheer up, Liverpool. There’s a new contender for the worst week in global football: Atlético Madrid. After embodying devastation in a Champions League loss to their cross-town rivals, Atlético blew a 2-0 lead in minutes to Barcelona on Sunday, dealing a near-fatal wound to their title hopes.

Julian Alvarez opened the scoring before half-time to continue his rampant form, and Alexander Sørloth doubled the advantage ten minutes after entering the game in the second half. A dream rebuttal to broken dreams midweek. Right?

Robert Lewandowski cut into the lead two minutes later, before substitute Ferran Torres leveled the score six minutes after that. Hey, a point wouldn’t be so bad. Right?

Lamine Yamal had other plans, and his deflected strike found the back of the net in stoppage time to complete another Barcelona remontada. Torres added an insurance goal to make it a second-half brace in the 98th minute.

Barcelona returned to the top of the table with the win, level on points with Madrid with a game in hand…and four points clear of Atletico. These sides meet again on April 2nd in the second leg of the Copa Del Rey semifinals.

⚪⚪ Real Madrid erased an early deficit at Villareal thanks to two Kylian Mbappé goals in six minutes. After a rough start, the French superstar has cemented his importance to an already great side, scoring 31 goals in all competitions.

📈 Celta Vigo are unbeaten in their last six games, climbing into eighth after a late Marcos Alonso penalty sealed a 1-0 victory over Valladolid.

🟢⚪ Not to be outdone, Real Betis have won their last five league games, overturning a 2-0 halftime deficit at Leganes through goals from Isco, Cedric Bakambu, and Cucho Hernandez.

4⃣ After a turnaround triumph in the Europa League midweek, Athletic Bilbao scraped a 1-0 victory over Sevilla thanks to an 84th-minute Yeray goal. The win keeps their fourth place cushion at 8 points.

😬 The relegation fight may be over in the Premier League, but it’s alive and well in Spain. Four teams are within one point of each other in the scramble to avoid 18th place.

✌️ A first-half Fabio Miretti brace was ultimately enough to secure a Genoa victory over Lecce.

🔴⚫ Milan overcame an early 1-0 deficit, surrendered to a Lucas Da Cunha strike, with second-half goals from Christian Pulisic and Tijani Reijnders. Pulisic has now scored 15 goals in all competitions for the second straight season. That’s an incredible return for a winger in consecutive seasons; Conceição will be twisting his brain into a pretzel trying to figure out how to play João Felix ahead of him…

Dele Alli made his Serie A debut, subbing on in the 81st minute….and seeing red for a tackle on Ruben Loftus-Cheek in the 91st minute.

0⃣0⃣ Venezia and Napoli played to a 0-0 stalemate in a surprising blow to Napoli’s title chances. In recent weeks, Conte’s side have dropped points on the road to both Venezia and Como. Those points lost to weak sides could be the difference in the Scudetto.

📈 Bologna walloped Lazio 5-0 to charge into fourth place. Bologna have quietly won four straight to ascend the table, and Sunday’s dismantling of a solid Lazio side means they’ll move in stealth mode no longer. Dan Ndoye, one of five different scorers on the day, has scored four in his last five games.

🎅🏻 After the disappointment of bowing out of the Europa League Thursday, Roma returned to winning ways in a 1-0 defeat of Cagliari. Ranieri’s side are now 13 games unbeaten in the league, with their last loss coming before Christmas.

🟣 Atalanta dealt a significant blow to Juventus’ faint title hopes last weekend, and Fiorentina put the nails in the coffin Sunday. Juventus loanee Nicolo Fagioli assisted twice against his parent club as Fiorentina scored on all three of their shots on goal.

🔵⚫ Atalanta’s own title hopes are now on life support after a 2-0 defeat at home to league leaders Inter. Carlos Augusto and Lautaro Martinez scored, the latter against ten men after Ederson received a second yellow for dissent. Alessandro Bastoni earned a red card of his own late in stoppage time, but Inter’s lead extends to three points nonetheless.

🥴 Conquering heroes of rivals Leverkusen midweek, Bayern stumbled to a 1-1 draw against Union Berlin, dropping points for the second straight weekend. Benedict Hollerbach found a late equalizer to neutralize Leroy Sane’s 75th-minute goal. Bayern’s advantage has shrunk to a just-small-enough-to-be-uncomfortable six points.

Of course, six points when Harry Kane is on your team might as well be three points. Title race, back on.

🤝 Mainz and Freiburg battled to a 2-2 draw, with Freiburg twice coming from behind to level the score. Jonathan Burkardt drew first blood for third-place Mainz, but a 43rd-minute Dominik Kohr red card left them vulnerable to Freiburg’s answers.

🎩 Alassane Plea notched a hat trick in Gladbach’s 4-2 win over Bremen.

🔴🐂 Xavi Simons and Loïs Openda scored to blank Dortmund 2-0 and keep RB Leipzig’s European hopes alive. Dortmund cannot seem to escape the bottom half.

↗️ After three successive defeats in the league, Frankfurt bullied cellar-dwellers Bochum 3-1 to equal Mainz on points.

😮‍💨 Leverkusen erased a 3-1 deficit, winning 4-3 after a late Angelo Stiller own goal and a last-gasp, stoppage-time winner from Patrik Schick. The win breaks a three-game losing streak (two of those against Bayern in Europe) and increases the pressure on their Bavarian rivals.

👔 A 94th-minute Florian Aye equalizer secured a point for Auxerre and dealt a blow to Nice’s Champions League pursuit.

📉 Lille suffered a worse blow, falling 1-0 to ten-man Nantes thanks to an 83rd-minute Mostafa Mohamed goal.

🔴⚪ Monaco seized the opportunity presented by their rivals' missteps, winning 2-0 at Angers with goals from Mika Biereth and Maghnes Akliouche. Biereth is up to 11 Ligue 1 goals in 9 games.

🔴🔵 Lyon overturned a 2-1 deficit against Le Havre, with three late goals from Malick Fofana, Georges Mikautadze, and Thiago Almada (his first in the league). Fonseca’s side has now won five straight in all competitions, pulling within two points of third place. He should get banned more often.

☄️ Chelsea loanee Andrey Santos scored a banger to seal three points for Strasbourg.

🏆 PSG breezed past second-place Marseille, remaining unbeaten in the league and extending their already insurmountable lead to 19 points. Ousmane Dembélé scored to extend his Ligue 1 tally to 21 goals and his all-comps total to 29.

⚪🟡 Days after reclaiming breathing room atop the Championship, Leeds surrendered it, coming from two goals down to draw QPR while both Burnley and Sheffield United won.

A Haji Wright hat trick returned Coventry City to winning ways after Lampard’s side saw their five-match unbeaten run ended midweek.

🦩 Lionel Messi returned to the XI and scored a delicate chip over Brad Guzan after dropping a defender in vintage-Messi fashion. Inter Miami won 2-1.

🇳🇱 PSV trimmed Ajax’s lead to six points atop the Eredivisie, winning 3-0 against RKC Waalwijk while Ajax clawed back a deficit twice to draw 2-2 against AZ Alkmaar.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 While the Scottish Premiership is all but decided for Celtic, Rangers enjoyed a 3-2 victory at Celtic Park in the Old Firm Derby. Vaclav Cerny might’ve enjoyed it too much. Celtic erased a 2-0 deficit before Hamza Igmane scored a late winner for Rangers.

🇲🇽 Sergio Ramos scoring goals in Liga MX is cool, but we were all wondering when he’d earn his first red card. The wait is over. That’s his 30th career red.

🇹🇷 Victor Osimhen scored a hat trick for Galatasaray in a 4-0 win over Antalyaspor. Alvaro Morata added a goal from the spot. The club is currently nine points clear at the top.

🇸🇦 Cristiano Ronaldo scored for Al Nassr on Friday, along with Sadio Mane and Jhon Duran. Ronaldo has notched a goal in his last three contests, but if a great scores in the desert and nobody is around to hear it…

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Third-place Wrexham beat second-place Wycombe on a late volley to leapfrog Wycombe for the second automatic promotion spot in League One. Wycombe trail by just three points with a game in hand, however.

Hooray, international break.

While World Cup qualifying kicks off in earnest later in the week, midweek action is highlighted predominantly by Nations League playoffs. This is your chance to achieve Nations League history, lads! To etch indelible memories of heroism that will live on for hours, maybe even days to come.

🇪🇺 UEFA Nations League Quarterfinals (First Leg)

We’ll preview UEFA World Cup qualifying on Friday, but first, Europe needs to settle the Nations League quarterfinals over two legs. Groan.

Netherlands vs. Spain (3:45 PM THU)

Spain heads to Rotterdam beset by injuries that forced late call-ups of Aleix Garcia and Dean Huijsen. Ah Bournemouth, the capital of Spanish football. Dutch captain Virgil Van Dijk will surely be thrilled about the prospect of another cup tie so soon after disappointing conclusions to Liverpool’s Champions League and Carabao Cup campaigns.

Italy vs. Germany (3:45 PM THU)

Italy welcome Germany to Milan Thursday night winless in their last five encounters with the visitors (two losses, three draws). Gianluigi Donnarumma anchors a side rich in Serie A attacking talent: Mateo Retegui and Moise Kean are currently #1 and #2 atop the scoring charts. Germany are missing Florian Wirtz and Manuel Neuer due to injury.

Other fixtures:

Croatia vs. France (3:45 PM THU)

Denmark vs. Portugal (3:45 PM THU)

🇺🇸 CONCACAF Nations League Semifinals

Los Angeles hosts all the action this week, with the semifinals on Thursday and the final on Sunday. Three of these sides are automatically qualified for the World Cup, so these could be the last meaningful (and we use that word to the softest standard possible) games until then.

USA vs. Panama (7:00 PM THU)

The United States have won all three iterations of this competition, and they’ll look to seal another trip to the final at SoFi Stadium on Thursday. Christian Pulisic enters in incisive form, though Mauricio Pochettino and fans will lament the late withdrawal of Betis midfielder Johnny Cardoso. Currently 4th in the Championship scoring charts, Josh Sargent will look to replace the missing production of Ricardo Pepi and Folarin Balogun and cement his place in the team going forward.

Canada vs. Mexico (10:30 PM THU)

Alphonso David headlines a Canadian group that features recently declared newcomers Daniel Jebbison (Bournemouth) and Promise David (Union Saint-Gilloise). El Tri boast venom in attack with in-form Raul Jimenez and Milan signing Santiago Gimenez. Winner gets the chance to wrestle the Nations League title belt from the USMNT’s clutches.

🇧🇷🇨🇴 CONMEBOL World Cup Qualifying

Brazil vs. Colombia (8:45 PM THU)

Spoiling a much-anticipated return to the Seleção, Neymar withdrew from the squad due to injury. That leaves Brazil thin in attack, with only—checks notes—Vinicius Junior, Rodrygo, Raphinha, Joao Pedro, Matheus Cunha, Savinho, and Endrick there to plug the gaps. Can James Rodriguez propel Colombia to another iconic World Cup moment in 2026? The mercurial midfielder is off to a strong start in Mexico, with seven goal contributions in ten games for Leon.

💸 With the ink not even dried on Chelsea’s signing of Geovany Quenda, the club reached into Sporting’s stores again, this time inking midfielder Dario Essugo for a €22 million fee.

Chelsea-owned midfielders now include but are not limited to: Moises Caicedo, Enzo Fernandez, Kieran Dewsbury-Hall, Mathis Amougou, Romeo Lavia, Andrey Santos, Carney Chukwuemeka, Leslie Ugochukwu, Dario Essugo, and Alex Matos.

And if you think they’re done buying, oh buddy, guess again. Essugo—like Ugochukwu before him, and Cesare Casadei before him—will be replaced several times over before he even takes the pitch wearing blue.

🇦🇷 Lionel Messi withdrew from Argentina’s squad due to discomfort from lingering injuries that kept him out of recent Inter Miami matches. The Argentine side will also be without Paulo Dybala.